Chassey Cumberland.

Skye is engaged to get married to Chassey Cumberland. She is from the really, really rich family of Cumberland’s. They got their fortune from making the best rubber bands in the world. Chassey is completely hot, not like Christina Aguilera or someone like that, but she is hot in a more real way, like Avril Lavigne. The big problem is that Skye is lost in time and he cannot figure out the dials on his time travelling suit to get back to his time. Skye Zanzibar is not dumb, it’s just really hard to figure out.

One time Skye Zanzibar got really close to his time. It was a sad thing, though.

When he got there Chassey was an old lady. She had been missing Skye so much she prayed to Aztec witchdoctors and they drained her energy and all her money.

Chassey was living on the streets of Mascarado City like a stinky bum. She was almost blind from disease. She had a case of the hand cancer and it hurt to touch stuff. Skye found her through using his detective skills:

1. Roughing up guys
2. He headbutted the head of the mafia and didn’t even care what would happen.
3. He looked for clues
4. He talked to other bums
5. He put word on the street.

Finally Skye Zanzibar found Chassey and it didn’t matter to him that she was old and almost blind and had hand cancer and couldn’t’ touch things. Skye was a real man and loved his woman. Just when he kissed her on her lips, she said, “I love you Skye.”

Then she died.

Skye Zanzibar looked to the heavens (Aztec god heaven, remember) and yelled, “Mictlantecuhtli, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Then a skeleton covered in blood came and danced and made fun of Skye Zanzibar, it was Mictlantecuhtli.

Skye Zanzibar was pissed off! He kicked the bloody skeleton in the head and shot a 10,000,000 watt, 6 million amp blast of liquid cosmic energy at the bloody skeleton. The skeleton didn’t die (he is a god)

“I see that you have love in your heart and are truly sad for this girl, I will put a picture of her in the sky.”

A new star constellation was put in the sky of Chassey.

Skye Zanzibar was still sad and wanted to go back to when he and Chassey were about to be married and times were good.

He tried to twist his dial just a tiny, tiny bit but JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJT!

Skye ended up in the time of 2911, when a serial killer named Big Jake Lake was president and made serial killing legal!

Enough.